Why it’s never okay to use derogatory terms to describe another. Let’s drop the word crazy – be kind

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26 Comments

  1. (here is the short Im speaking about…https://youtube.com/shorts/aiXEfkkNRrY?feature=share) ……Hi there, everyone. Good morning from South Australia… By the way, I had 15 birds at my birdfeeder today, which was really awesome and brought a smile to my face… Yesterday I did a “short” on Instagram TikTok and YouTube talking about why it’s never okay to use derogatory language… In response, I received a lot of derogatory language… As a YouTuber, I’m used to this and thick-skinned, but this time, it was particularly venomous, and I found it interesting… what does this spitting of venom say about the person who is doing the spitting? The words we use become us. Although we are the thinkers who choose our thoughts, thoughts are translated through words, and words can be weaponised… I found it interesting to have people immediately respond by using marginalising unkind words… Haven’t we reached the point in history where compassion becomes a driver? Kindness becomes our journey? And empathy navigates the way? I know you already know this but let’s start and movement and simply be kind…Lauren x

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    Your contributions are a massive help in allowing me to create content. If you’d like to help support my channel and be part of a connected compassionate group, get perks like the retreat, courses, vocal-only versions, non-gated articles, and bonus content, please check out my Patreon page.
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  2. I’ve been called a psycho b****, nuts, crazy, etc. I deal with depression and anxiety due to multiple traumas in my life. This is bringing tears to my eyes. Oh, and unhinged is another one. The thing is I smile and make an effort to be kind to people I interact with so I don’t know where this comes from

    1. Good on you thousand times good on you keep in mind these people are giving you a mirror into their soul what they say has nothing at all to do with you much love to you

    2. I’m sorry you had that experience. It’s an unfortunate thing that trauma has a tendency to invite more trauma. People get ideas in their heads for all kinds of reasons that don’t actually have to have anything to do with the person towards whom they’re directing it, just like Lauren said. It’s really important to realize that which is why I am so glad that she spoke about this. Once we take their opinions on ourselves, we will do all the wrong things, we will give over our dignity to these people, and then, knowing we did it, we will blame ourselves and feel shame for years. It’s best just not to hand over that power in the first place, but until you become aware, which I wasn’t for a long, long time, you have an instinctive, natural reaction to that kind of thing.

    3. Thank you so much for adding these comments like this have so much value thank you.

  3. Well said ♥
    It can mean the difference: To anyone teetering on the brink of despair…

    1. Absolutely absolutely there is so much so much to say about this topic ….one area is the question of rhe psychological motivation of the person saying these terrible words… in someways it’s like seagulls mndlesslyy attacking the weak seagull but when I use that seagull metaphor I’m implying that the victim of this cruelty is weak and that is not always the way…. The victim could quite easily be a strong empowered individual… but what I do know is the person who makes the comment has cruel intent. And that’s not okay

  4. If you had an abusive narcissistic parent or exe-relationship you would get there IS a good reason to just write people off as “crazy” sometimes. We don’t all need to be overly concerned with whether or not we’re “bullying” an abuser by labeling them as crazy. Sometimes people are just crazy and abusive and should be avoided at all costs.

    1. I hear you my friend I feel that as Victims or the objects of marginalising words we can choose definitive type words such as “unacceptable” “Cruel” ‘labelling’ rather than perpetuate narcissistic behaviour ourselves by using similar behaviour…but I hear you and understand what you’re saying.

  5. I completely agree with you, but I have to make one exception to it. When that person is a political leader, in a position to broadly do damage to a lot of people with whom they are never in the same room, and that person is not seeking help, and that person thinks that they are entitled to it, to their behavior, and those ill-gotten gains that come with it, that person does not have my compassion. I called people like this lots of colorful names, and I don’t apologize for it. They are the same names. I would never apply to people who are just sick, and need help, and even in a psychosis, they know it. They’re not out there trying to acquire power, or enable those who are so doing, and affect wide swaths of people.

    1. Well said… I feel that any leader in a public forum or any influencer has an “extra” responsibility and duty of care to lead others wisely and kindly… And this makes any deviation from compassion on their part extra or the more unacceptable… With public power comes extra responsibility… And greater duty of care. Yes I agree with you. There is so much more that could be said in this video with greater depth and elaboration there is so much that is left out. Thank you for commenting

    2. @@LaurenOstrowskiFenton

      I agree completely. Thank you for the feedback. I’m sorry that you got nasty messages about the original video.

    3. Thank you so much and I sincerely appreciate you taking the time to contribute wisdom that is helpful for others what you have written really resonates with me@@NEbluefire

  6. Boy if I let myself go, there would be great damage to the ex. I wish I could be like her

  7. you know there is a path designed for everybody to follow if you are not walking the path than you are labeled an outcast of society, if that be the case that im an outcast than i know i am walking the right path , its only when people start liking me that’s when i start to worry.

  8. I learned all the reasons not to use labels from the book Your Child’s Self Esteem. Then when I was 48 a therapist told me I’m schizoid. I didn’t really understand what that meant. I still thought I was an individual. Now, lately Through YouTube I realize everything I do is schizoid , and now it feels like a trap, a cage I will never escape. It makes me feel like my mental health is challenged by this. That I somehow have to accept this problem. It feels so destructive.

    1. There was a video I really love on TEDTalks I think it’s called “single story“ I think you might find it rewarding to watch it. We are each colourful souls, and when we are held to the light, we can be seen in so many different ways it is never ever okay to describe one person with one word it makes the beauty of who they are invisible and that’s not okay each Person deserves to be held to the light and seen in all that colour, complexity and beauty … no Person is there diagnosis no Person is defined by one behaviour. No Person becomes the labels They are described by.

    2. Thank you for replying. I watched the video. That and what you said helps. I feel a loosening inside, the possibility of positivity. It feels better.

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