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About the Author: Joy Packard


  1. Evidence implies putative definitive empirical conclusions. That in an of itself means proof of compassion is virtually impossible. However one can observe expression of compassion in another which isn’t proof but observable transient observable perception of compassion. Yet that person may never express that again or may express it differently or be fluid enough to shape shift their expressions. Reductionistic process has limits. Plus each person may define compassion or love differently. What is attraction. What is love, what is authentic self what is ego what are the universal definitions of these things. There ain’t any. Relationships are highly complex dynamic reaction between complex human beings. Truthfully I cannot find a universally common denominator to explain success or failure with them. I do know they require lots of work which involves kindness compassion love communication commonality of interests values and too many other variables to list. I love your passion but I cannot say “this here is evidence of proof of my love my kindness etc” I think we can rely on our intuitive nature to know this unknowing thing.

    1. Goodness me, I just love this Larry this is awesome… I would love to reply with a response that is worthy of this comment however, I don’t have time, so I will reply quickly. Firstly I hundred per cent agree with you secondly I’m trying to call to notice the casual use of words and in powering those words without necessary cause. I understand that we cannot quantify values however we can hold up actions as evidence for our beliefs even though these actions may be subjective. My concern is the use of words such as trust honesty love without any recourse to supportive actions again Larry I understand this is a bigger conversation and I’m not keen on short-form content however it is popular at the moment I really appreciate wise comments such as this

  2. I am never looking for a relationship simply because I was forced into sexual relationships from age 9. I like to be alone.
    but someone interested in me would approach me for the wrong reasons. To me, they are all the same.
    I have yet to confirm that trust and love exist. Zero evidence.

    1. I just love your comments and responses. They give me pause to think and reflect I really love them, thank you. How do you define trust what are examples of trust for you? How do you define love? What is the evidence of love for you? Your intuition, your belief your faith sets you apart as an amazing soul… But your definition of love can be very different to others, and I think we need to come together as a couple or a society to have an understanding of what love and trust actually is. Some people hold a fairly loose understanding of love and I would like some accountability for the actions associated with love at least through discussion. Again I just love your comments and I thought that they inspire

  3. I agree. Very much so. They frustrate me. I find myself gaining more perspective fom the Stoic ways, as it is much more genuine and “true”. I have seen you post about it before and thats why I subscribed to you. The quotes rooted in pain and suffering sadly helps me most. Not the happy rainbow lovey dovey ones. Thank you for saying you care about us. I know I dont know you and vice versa, but my intuition feels its genuine. Thank you for bringing me that warmth on a very bad day.

  4. It is frustrating.
    Ideals that are held up as the ultimate expressions we must have value in are very subjective and sometimes unattainable, i.e., being like the Christ figure who somehow had all of them simultaneously? It’s as if this path to attain to is a setup to fail, which can lead to serious frustration and for me, depression. Being raised in a bubble to be perfect had the most horrible outcomes and a dark unconscious. Healing the trauma from the people that thought they were the light bearers, mainly brought darkness that will take a lifetime of recovery. Luckily this is only my story, which needs some rewriting 😋💙✨️🙏

    1. I’m about to run out the door to do shopping that I’ve delayed, but I just have to say I love this comment I wish I could give it to reply it deserves but just want to say it really resonates with me

  5. But I can tell you one thing.

    When a man and a woman see each other and like each other,

    They ought to come together, wham,

    Like a couple of taxis on Broadway

    And not sit around analysing each other

    Like two specimens in a bottle.

    There’s an intelligent way to approach marriage.


    Nothing has caused the human race so much trouble as intelligence.

    Modern marriage.

    Once it was see somebody, get excited, get married.

    Now, it’s read a lot of books,

    Fence with a lot of four-syllable words, psychoanalyse each other

    Until you can’t tell the difference

    Between a petting party and a civil service exam.

  6. Compassion (for me) is a natural component within myself but I have a difficult time demonstrating it towards those who, from experience, are “toxic” … the only time I felt like I’ve been able to demonstrate compassion, was if I was in the healing process myself and I was demonstrating compassion towards myself.
    Then I could ask the question “why is this particular person continuously hurting me?”
    I am just offering up a thought and that is, that I think about it in terms of Byron Katie‘s advice…which she suggests to flip it around and question certain aspects of their behavior,.. it is so difficult to demonstrate compassion towards someone who is always triggering you or intentionally making it their focus to hurt you even if it’s from a distance (which is what my case)
    I have learned that the saying “hurt People hurt People” to be very very true in most cases…
    I always ask this question over and over again.
    How do you demonstrate compassion towards someone who’s making it there goal to be hurtful towards you?
    when they are hurtful, I become self protective and immediately place up the boundaries (that’s the healthy side)
    it elicits tremendous fight or flight response in me and it’s triggering and then I need to go and explore how to cope with that within myself.
    In other words, it’s very difficult for me to demonstrate compassion when I’m not healed up inside myself quite yet, and I’m being triggered by that person.
    I want to demonstrate compassion for is not for the other person, but for myself. and part of that compassion is doing anything that makes me feel loved and cared for towards myself.
    at this time I’m not really thinking about how much compassion I have for the other person.
    I want to understand and learn if my thinking is off here ?
    Compassion is so simple to demonstrate towards others, who are feeling hurt, and who are struggling but it’s not coming out all over the place and especially towards you …
    This is where the element of trust comes in. There’s such a fine line, but a very clear one between trusting another person and demonstrating compassion towards them. If the trust test is not there and you know that this person is not healthy how do you demonstrate compassion, and then at the same time protect yourself ?
    It is really just this one person that I continuously have been having difficulty with for many years. There is absolutely no way to actually approach this person. They’re very frightened, so this becomes not a problem, but a challenge for me to understand what the best approach is for myself ….
    I keep asking the question over and over again. How do you demonstrate compassion towards a person who is either intentionally or unintentionally hurting you on a daily basis? What difference does it make whether they were aware or unaware? Does that still make it OK?

  7. I know I have a lot of thoughts coming out here but one of them that always is a common theme for me. Is that trust and what it means to me is when another person actually respects your boundaries because when they respect your boundaries, then you are in pretty sure that they are aware within themselves and that they’re doing some healing work within themselves and that’s how trust is build up it’s not something that happens right away. It Hass to happen overtime but when you know you’re dealing with someone is completely unaware and is not healing themselves and then becomes extremely angry or petulant when you place up the boundaries and they keep testing them then you know there’s no way that you can build up any type of trust between you and another person. The only thing that you can trust is that you have to keep your distance place up the boundaries but I don’t understand how, I can have compassion towards a person in that respect there’s such a fine line for myself between having compassion for someone who is always challenging. A person who is not respecting your desire to have space and to have boundaries. I don’t understand how they have compassion for someone who is doing this? This is the most difficult question that I have within my head is how do you have compassion for someone who is continuously making it a challenge to have compassion for them?

  8. love trust compassion are verbs they are actions based on what is perceived or rendering. we all have our own unique definitions of the actions of another person or our own values.

    Trust is having three beautiful does walk toward you in the middle of deer season. A bunny that trusts you enough to lay 4′ away from you or a chipmunk that will take a peanut out of your hand.

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